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Hermit Crab

from Bear Hair by The Island of Misfit Toys

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about

The people who really know what this song, “Hermit Crab,” is all about are the people I was close with in high school, along with the band. I’ll break it down lyric by lyric:

I drive a small-scale Lotus Elise, and it rides the grooves in all my LPs
I have no need to gauge my speed; I used the RPM 45 and 33
And though my instincts make me want to go out,
I melt into the seatbelt and never leave the house

When I was in high school, I was grounded for the majority of the time. This wasn’t because I was doing anything particularly bad (my worst crimes were staying out late every once in a while), but I got God-awful grades. I’m not proud of it, either; I got about a 1.something GPA, and there was no way I was getting into any substantial college, or ANY college for that matter. I also wasn’t on the computer, because the computer led me to porn, and that was a little bit too fine with me. Needless to say, contact was limited to school, and school is very restricting.

So, my only communion was with the records I would buy from Record Surplus, a store across the street from me at the time. This is now a Korean bookstore. The lyrics about the car running the grooves of the LP refer to a Lotus Elise…the car driven by Number 6, from my favorite TV show, The Prisoner. As the lyrics say, I kind of sink into my seat, let the rotation of the record go to work, and never leave the house.

I have a tomb built into my room;
they say “You can’t take it with you.” Well, I’ll find out soon
I’ll bring Tea For the Tillerman and a beat-up copy of Abacab;
actual passion and a pop smash ‘n grab
And though my instincts make me want to go out,
my feet are stuck in the mud of the grave of my house

The phrase “You can’t take it with you” is a gigantic bummer. But I figure if I were to take a few records with me, I could be happy in the afterlife…particularly Cat Stevens’s Tea For the Tillerman and Genesis’s Abacab. I loved both of those albums at the time, even though they were completely different from each other (Tea For the Tillerman is subdued but passionate, and Abacab is full of pop melodies and loud horns). The last line is pretty self-explanatory.

It’s like they took their mouths and shoved them in my head
Now I take all my heroes to bed
To all of them: I sent your dentures back,
and now I’m on my own

This verse is about how formative and important this period of time was for me. If I didn’t have all this time to myself, and all this time to get acquainted with the music that would influence later…I not only wouldn’t be the same person, but The Island of Misfit Toys and this album would never have existed. My influences are so strong that it almost feels like they’re taking up my entire mouth when I sing, and I’m fine with that.

lyrics

I drive a small-scale Lotus Elise
and it rides the grooves in all my LPs
I have no need to gauge my speed
I use the RPM 45 or 33

And though my instincts make me want to go out,
I melt into the seatbelt and never leave the house

I have a tomb built into my room
They say you can't take it with you...well, I'll find out soon
I'll bring Tea For the Tillerman and a beat-up copy of Abacab
actual passion and a pop smash-and-grab

And though my instincts make me want to go out,
my feet are stuck in the mud of the grave of my house

It's like
they took their mouths and shoved them in my head
and now, I take all my heroes to bed
To all of them: I sent your dentures back
and now I'm on my own

credits

from Bear Hair, released June 28, 2011

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The Island of Misfit Toys Chicago, Illinois

I Made You Something

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